Oh My! Sugar High!
by Poena
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if Tenten amd Temari were sugar high? You may quite possibly die from laughter after you read through this...or not...i'll admit it's kind of stupid...oh well...


**Here is the most random and crazy story you will probably read...today at least. I hope to god it makes you all laugh like a bunch of hyenas...ON CRACK! HAHA! -cough- anyways please review and have a wonderful time reading this. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...i just love to do all i possibly can to them agaisnt their animated will...nor do i own the song "Ain't No Moutain High Enough" by The Temptations...i just love to suddenly yell out part of the song everyonce in a while.**

* * *

'_So sleepy…so…sleepy…'_

Letting her body drop to the hard dirt ground, the bun-haired girl landed face first. Gracefully, if the authoress might add. So gracefully in fact, that the authoress decided to enter her in the 'National Face-Plant Tournament'.

**With Commentator… **

"Wow…there was so much concentration on her face as she landed…lets just see what the judges have to say."

_**Half a second later…**_

"And I'm just getting word from the judges that she is indeed our new face-plant champion…wow…congratulations to her!"

**Back to original story…**

Tenten let out a noise that sounded like 'meow' combined with 'nerf'. So, it basically came out like…

"Meorf…"

Wondering why our weapons kunoichi is so tired and somewhat of a vegetable right now? Well, being the hard working ninja she is, she just finished up 10 hours of…well working hard…cause she's a hard working ninja…she's a hard worker…you get what I mean, I'm sure. And if you don't then, she'd been working hard on training for 10 hours non-stop. There, now that my strange urge to write the words 'hard & working' is over, on with the story…

The exhausted face-plant champion ever so slowly turned her body so that she was lying on her back. Letting out another strange but funny noise, she got up from the ground and began to walk back to her respectful home.

**At Her Respectful Home…**

Tenten successfully opened her door after 20 minutes of trying to find her key, which surprisingly was in her **left** pocket not her right, and the 10 minutes it took to find the keyhole. Turning the knob she let her body fall straight into the soft warm arms of…?

Tenten raised her head…well more like flopped her head back, but whatever...and stared at the person who saved her from her second face plant. Blond hair…kick ass turquoise eyes…fucking abnormally giant fan…

"Temari…what are you doing here…?"

Now, that's what it was **supposed** to sound like, when in reality, it came out more like…

"Tmri…wer yu dun hair…?"

Temari raised a brow and sighed. It seems that Tenten had over worked herself once again.

Temari had asked Tenten if she could stay at her place until her mission here in Konoha was done. Tenten, still slightly irritated at the girl for the beating she got in the chuunin exams, had actually said no at first, but reconsidered after a couple of drinks and a **very**(drunken)**emotional** apology happened. Where the alcohol came from, neither Temari nor Tenten will ever find out, but it did…and both girls actually became the best of friends in a whole 15 minutes and Tenten ended up letting her stay. Why so quickly you ask?

Cause' alcohol can do that to people.

Anyways, that was two days ago…going back to the current situation…

'_Should I let her rest…or should I just make her some coffee…hmm…'_

Temari pondered on what to do while Tenten silently slept in her arms. When Temari heard the faintest of noises, she looked down at the girl in her arms.

Temari couldn't help but let out a tiny laugh.

Tenten had her arms wrapped around herself and had a tiny bit of drool hanging out of the side of her mouth. The bun-haired girl was making funny noises that reminded Temari of a kitten. Tenten began to shuffle in her arms and began to mumble.

"I want…I want chi…"

Temari tensed. What was Tenten trying to say? She wants…children? No…that's not it.

Chili…?

Temari waited for Tenten to continue.

"I want chick…"

Temari's eyes widened. Could it possibly be what she thinks it might be? Wow…

Tenten wanted chicks? Wow…Temari had never really thought that Tenten was like that! Not that there's anything wrong with being lesbian, but Temari never imagined her being one. She heard Tenten begin to mumble again. Wait…there's more?

"I…I want chicken…I want liver…Meow Mix…Meow Mix…Please Deliver…"

Tenten had a smile plastered on her face…it resemble that of an innocent child.

Temari sweat dropped.

"Well…I definitely wasn't expecting that," Temari mumbled as she began to gently drag Tenten's body to the nearby couch.

And in this moment, the authoress would like to ask a question. A question that could change everyone's way of thinking…

Wait for it….

Wait for it….

…

Is 'gently dragging' someone an oxymoron? Yeah…the authoress is gonna let you ponder on that for a moment…

_**A Moment… **_

So…is it? It is, isn't it? Did the question make you change your way of thinking? Did it?

…

Probably not…

Back to the story…

'_I guess I'll let her rest and make some coffee anyways for when she wakes up…'_

Temari stood up after putting a pillow under the sleeping kunoichi's head and walked to Tenten's kitchen. She knew where the coffee pot was…but had no idea as to where Tenten kept the coffee grains at or **in **for that matter.

So…she began her search where everyone else with a sane mind would look.

In the only pantry that was there.

This, sadly, wasn't where the coffee was.

Temari let out a sigh, but became confused when she noticed a piece of paper taped to the back of one of the pantry doors. It looked as though it had one of the sided ripped off. Curious, she ripped it off the door and read it aloud.

"T let Tenten have coffee, especially with sugar…huh, wonder what the't' stands for. Well, not like I give a damn!"

And with that said, she ripped it in two and ate it. Yeah…you read correctly.

She ate it.

What Temari failed to notice was the other side of the paper she just ate was lying on top of the counter. It read:

_Don'_

Put the piece Temari just ate with the one of the counter and it fully reads:

_'Don't let Tenten have coffee, especially with sugar!_'

But then again...what Temari doesn't know won't do any harm...right?

Satisfied with herself, Temari began the devastatingly long and tiresome search for the coffee grains.

_**Two and a half minutes later…**_

"Aha! Man that took forever to find…but why was it in the oven? Bleh, whatever…it has been found and that's all that matters."

And with that said, Temari began to make enough coffee for both Tenten and herself.

Because the devastatingly long and tiresome search for the coffee totally wore her out…

**With Tenten…On The Couch…**

While Tenten was peacefully dreaming of Meow Mix and other commercial products when…a scent hit her…

And it hit her hard.

The once silent, sleeping kunoichi subconsciously arose from her sleeping position, eyes still closed. Sniffing the air almost in cat-like way…she searched for the source of smell. Whatever it was...it gave her a tingling feeling in her gut.

And she wanted it. If she had to eat, drink, or sniff whatever it was…she would do it.

_Sniff_

She was getting closer.

_Sniff…Sniff…_

She was almost there…

_Sniff…_

Tenten paused when she found the source…but also when she heard a small squeak and felt warmth on her cheek.

What the hell's going on, right?

Okay…so here's what the situation would have looked like to someone just standing there.

We've got Tenten on top of her counter, eyes closed, sniffing. We don't know how she managed to get on top of the counter with her eyes closed…but she did. Also, we've got Temari sitting down on the counter, cup of coffee on her lips and completely oblivious to the fact that Tenten's awake and on the counter as well.

Now, in what seemed to have happened in only a couple of nano-seconds, Tenten had her cheek up against Temari's and her nose above the coffee cup in the wind kunoichi's hand. Temari, completely confused, let out a squeak when she realized just how awkward this was.

Tenten, who had finally opened her eyes, simply averted her eyes from the drink Temari was holding to Temari's wide eyes. Realizing just how close they were, she sheepishly smiled and back away.

Temari remained in her shocked state.

"Sorry about that, Temari. I didn't mean to scare you. So…"

Temari could only reply in a slightly flustered voice.

"Its…okay Tenten…"

With a curios look on her face, Tenten pointed a finger at the cup in Temari's hand and asked in the **most** innocent voice you could **ever** hear.

"Wha'cha drinkin'…?"

Temari raised a brow at the child-like voice Tenten used. It kind of freaked her out.

"Um…coffee…I-I actually made you some too. Here."

'_Why am I stuttering…?'_

Tenten watched as Temari set her cup down and reach toward another cup. Handing it over to the strangely innocent-looking Tenten, Temari watched with amusement as Tenten sniffed the cup's contents with a growing smile.

And boy, did that smile grow…

And grow…

And grow…

Temari's own smile faltered when she saw the once innocent smile turn into a twisted, psychotic grin.

Tenten's left eye and the right corner of her mouth began to twitch…

Rather…violently.

Only one thought ran through Temari's mind. And that one thought was…

'_Oh dear God what have I done…?'_

Temari's eyes seemed to widen to an impossible extent when she watched Tenten vigorously drain her cup of coffee. Tenten, whose head was facing down making her bangs shadow over her eyes, shakily raised her cup toward Temari.

Temari simply looked down at the cup and back up at Tenten.

Tenten slowly raised her head…psychotic grin and all and asked in a frightening child-like voice.

"C-Can I have s-some m-more p-p-please?"

Tenten twisted her head to the side in a maniacal sort of way.

Temari's own eye began to twitch, the effects of the coffee begging to take affect on her. While still in her somewhat sane state of mind, she tried to recall as to why this was beginning to happen.

'_I didn't think the caffeine would do this to her… let alone me! What's up with the coffee? I didn't put **that** much sugar in it…did I?'_

**Several minutes before…**

Humming to herself, Temari grabbed the container of sugar and flipped open the top.

Getting into the song stuck in her head, she began to sing aloud. Not such a smart idea when you're pouring sugar into coffee.

"Cause' baby there AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH!"

And while she sang she didn't realize just how much she had poured into both cups of coffee. Do you want to know how much it was?

I'll tell you this much.

The container of sugar was actually **full** when she grabbed it…not empty like it was now.

**Back With Sugar High Tenten And Temari…**

'_O-kay…that might've been the problem…'_

Temari could feel the caffeine begin to go throughout her body. Her skin began to tingle. Her hand twitched.

Tenten was still in her, for lack of better wording, begging position…still grinning in that funny sort of maniacal way. She was just waiting…

Temari stared into her cup.

'_What happened to the rest of my coffee…? Did I drink it all already…?' _

At this point, the authoress would like to point something out to her readers in case some didn't catch it. Think about it.

Temari's hand twitched. Her coffee's all gone.

Replay that scene in your head. Do you see it? When Temari's hand twitched…well, let's put it in slow motion, shall we?

**Slow Motion View: Temari's Hand Twitching**

You can see a small grin appear on Temari's lips...the small hairs on her skin beginning to rise.

Then…the unbelievable happened.

In regular motion, it took, not a nano-second, but **half** a nano-second. That's pretty darn fast. But we're in slow motion so…

Temari's eyes widened…and…

She brought the cup to her lips and downed her cup of coffee.

In record time.

**Regular Motion…**

Temari scratched her head in confusion while she still stared at her cup.

Searching…

Searching for her 'disappearing' coffee.

Let's come back in a while to see how our two sugar high kunoichi are fairing…

**A While…**

Well isn't that just sad?

Temari's still searching, only more frantically, for her missing coffee and Tenten…

Well, Tenten's just sitting there on her knees, waiting.

And waiting…

Okay…waiting done.

Bringing her arms down and setting the cup on the counter…more like smashed it into the counter, but same difference…Tenten let her body roll off the counter and onto the floor.

But this time…instead of falling straight on her face…she landed on all fours and brought her head up and stared at Temari.

"Temari…"

Temari lifted her head up in a flash, and let her eyes wander around the room. Did someone just call her name?

"Temari…"

There it was again! Temari, being once again, oblivious to the fact that Tenten was there and on the floor staring up at her, turned around frantically and tried to search for the source of the voice. Tenten, that insane smile plastered on her face once again, moved over to her wall. There she began to walk up her wall.

Using chakra of course, but in her state of mind…they've both kind of forgot they could do that. So, in other words, Tenten was in pure amazement.

In her creepy child-like voice, Tenten called to Temari…only this time she was upside down and behind Temari.

"Temari…hey…up here…"

Temari paused and lowered her head slightly.

"Gaara…?"

"Nu-uh…"

Temari paused once more and thought for a second. Lowering her head lower she took another guess.

"God…?"

Tenten laughed insanely and poked Temari's head. This caused…a lot of things to happen actually.

One: Temari shrieked like a little girl.

Two: Temari fell off the counter while shrieking like a little girl.

Three: Tenten let out a very high pitched yelp and brought her hand to her head.

Four: Tenten's hair came out their regular bun-form and cascaded onto her face.

"AH! I'M...I'm…aww damn…what's the word…blend…bland...blind…YEAH BLIND!"

"AH! IT'S THAT CHICK FROM…FROM THAT MOVIE…ah damn what's it called…the sponge…the grunge…the grudge…YA THE GRUDGE!"

…And…

Five: Tenten thinks she's blind and Temari thinks she's in a horror flick.

Ah…the things sugar and caffeine can do to people…

So, Tenten, who is still upside down screamed at Temari, who was flat on her back screaming right back at Tenten.

And the screaming went on…

And on…

And on…

They paused to take a breather…

And then it when on once more.

After a few more breathers, both girls began to feel…to feel rather woozy.

Too much oxygen to the brain can do that to you. It's actually got a name, too.

It's called Hyperventilation…something that's definitely gonna cause more events to happen. Especially, since Tenten is still hanging upside down. So…again, several more events happened in the next 25 seconds.

But, before I list the next events, let me tell you the symptoms of Hyperventilation.

**Hyperventilation: Symptoms**

Numbness…

Tingling in the hands, feet and lips…

Lightheadedness…

Dizziness…

Headache…

Chest pain…

Slurred speech…

And sometimes fainting…

So, you can imagine the things that could happen in a situation like this.

**The Next 25 Seconds…**

Event Number 1: Temari felt a sudden tingle in her hands and feet.

Event Number 2: Temari couldn't move…cause' she can't feel the bottom half of her body.

Event Number 3: Tenten began to feel dizzy and lightheaded.

Event Number 4: Tenten thinks she's gonna faint and tries to warn Temari.

"Temer…im gon fint…."

Event Number 5: Temari can't understand a word Tenten said.

"Wha ju sai…?"

Event Number 6: Tenten can't seem to understand Temari and Temari can't feel her lips anymore.

Event number 7: Tenten passes out and falls straight to the floor…straight onto Temari.

"Shmorf…"

And…Event Number 8: Temari makes a weird noise and passes out too.

And this, my friends, is where the authoress tells you…

That this is just…

**ONE. BIG. INSANE. DREAM.**

"AHHHH!"

Both Tenten and Temari let out piercing shrieks as they both awoke from their slumber. Frantically looking around, Tenten realizes she's still on the couch and Temari realizes she's on the counter, cup of coffee next to her head.

Slowly, Tenten gets up from her seat and walks to the kitchen. Right when both girls caught each other's gaze, they just stared…

And stared…

And stared…

Finally, Tenten walked over to the counter while Temari finally sat up. Tenten jumped onto the counter next to Temari and just sat there.

Silence. Complete and utter silence.

Temari shot her gaze from her cup of coffee to Tenten's cup which was just behind it. Shooting her eyes back and forth, she finally came to a decision.

"Um…do you want som—"

"Sure…"

Temari turned her head to face her new friend and smiled. Tenten returned the smile and set her hand out to grab her cup. Tenten let out a laugh.

"You know…I had the weirdest dream."

Temari smirked and answered back.

"So did I…"

Both girls grinned.

Both spoke, simultaneously stated…

"You were in it."

They turned their heads to each other and broke into a fit of laughter. Once they settled down, their heads turned to their cups and they both took a quick drink

Then…several things began to happen…

One: The smell and taste was making Tenten feel…a little tingly.

Two: Temari could feel the hair on the back of her neck rising in a slow manner.

Three: Before Tenten realized it…her coffee was completely gone.

Four: So was Temari's.

Five: As Temari turned her head to look at Tenten…she had a feeling that the dream she just had, wasn't just a dream.

Six: Tenten let out a child-like giggle…her voice was shaky.

"T-Temari…how much sugar did you put in t-this?"

"I don't know…"

…And…

Seven: Temari's hand twitched and Tenten had on a twisted psychotic grin…

A hell of a lot more happened after that.

But I'm sure you all already know the following events, don't you?

…Of course you do…

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**And there you have it boys and girls...cats and dogs...whatever the hell else is reading this...my story while on caffiene overdose. Hope it made you laugh as much as i did when typing it. Please Review!**


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